2003-10-11 8:47 p.m.
I'll Be...
your crying shoulder... Agh... Without fail, I've been hearing that song every single day for the past three weeks. And I'm not even religiously listening to the radio anymore (I'm too busy behaving like a retard with my comraders) but no matter what I do, no matter where I go, Edwin McCaine's throaty voice and that LSS-worthy tune assails my eardrums with uncanny frequency. Damn. I don't even like the song that much. I mean, yeah, its better than those in-stink, cheeky-people wuss groups but sorry, it doesn't appeal to me the way alterna does. *sigh* And the worst part is, I find myself singing it out of the blue. Then everyone within hearing range will follow. Pretty soon, "I'll be" will have spread like the plague and invade our memory like one. Tragic.
So now, I'm the cause of audio cataclysm in my household. Huh. And of a song I don't even like much. Damn LSS...
Well then all I can say is...
I'll be...
2003-10-04 9:48 p.m.
Crap. I'm as bored as a stoplight on a dead-end street...
... and I have no fuckin' clue why when I've got enough requirements to keep my eyes in perpetual bags 'til sembreak. Lemme see, I've got this paper on MATH, yes MATH-- which includes a detailed explanation and reaction to certain topics raised in this boulder-weight book. I've got this paper on English, about fashion trends and gangster movies. I've got this paper on Literature, which is an analysis of this short story whose theme is mercilessly concealed under layers of sadistic details. I have a long test tomorrow on MATH, and I'm hopelessly lost. I've got a long test on English AND Lit on Friday. And I have four stories to finish later for Filipino tomorrow. Would love to pass this off but I'm already lucky to have a D (my vocab is horrid. I swear my brain is Filipino-vocab and Math-proof)
So, now that I've enumerated all my scholastic duties, why the hell am I ranting here instead of working on one of them?
Because I feel like crap. That's why.
Crap. Ugh. Someone please hand me some sugar. I'm getting so lame already... must be from all that Math...
2003-10-02 11:57 a.m.
ANIMO ATENEO!!!
(This was supposed to be my entry yesterday but Wednesday is my heaviest load-- and I don't want to miss lunch just to rant about ADMU victory.)
The moment my flight resumed to nomadic phase and traversed half the length of the sec walkway to find a bench that isn't inhibited by the hateful scorch of the afternoon sun, I noticed three things in sucession. 1) We found a sunless bench effortlessly. 2) The SEC walkay, which is easily one of the most ideal places for public exposure was barren. 3) The guards were strangely away from their posts.
After a few seconds of wonder, enlightenment came to me in the form of collective cheering from the mob in SEC B and C's foyers, huddled around what suspiciously looked like TV. Oh yeah, it's the do-or-die game between Ateneo and La Salle. The SEC people have herded out of the comfort of the conyo benches and squeezed themselves in the sweaty, screaming mosh pit in Araneta to see our Eagles claw out the Archers.
After that realization, I resumed to my regular program and participated in this "the future is in the cards" thing, made popular by our dear NCO training director. No, it's not that I'm an apathetic Atenean whose school spirit is comparable to that of an unthawed Java Man, it's just that my stomach's filled with food dipped in obscene dosages of cholesterol (sisig, crispy pata, sirloin steak) and being the lethargic creature that I am, moving over to another bench to watch our basketball team do battle in Araneta was too much of a drag, especially when I'm already comfortable wasting away on the bench. But I mentally screamed my support for the blue and white. It's the thought that counts, right?
Anyway, I did catch the last three minutes of the game at home. And yeah, I finally got the spirit to scream as if my voice can miraculously travel through cable. And we won. See? I knew my telepathic messages would be of some remote help.^^ La Salle could’ve won if they weren’t that stupid to foul before the ball was in-bound. Jeez. Oh well, it doesn't matter, we won anyway. There's another game today, against FEU and I'm still not watching. Hehehe... I'm so bad... I have no more classes today-- just one and it's finished but i'm too lazy to go home yet. FEU is my best friend's school... hmmm... I should invite her to watch the finals sometime, although I doubt we'd see anything when we're already trying to one-up each other in ostentatious display of school spirit... not that I could beat her anyway (I swear the girl must have bagpipes for lungs. I once had tubercolosis. Do the analogy)
Crap. Can't think of anything more to say so I'll just end it here. Besides, I recently acquired a copy of the ORSEM video and since there are a lot of HGs there, might as well dissect the hell out of it. Heehee... I wonder if I'll have any respect left for certain officers after that...
Oh btw...
GO TEAM ATENEO!!!
2003-09-25 2:45 p.m.
I'm Yesterday's Charity Case...
Me = NOT happy. I've experienced an inconvenience beyond stress yesterday. Fuckingballssshitscrewbitch. I can't remember feeling so high strung- I was wondering why I haven't snapped in two yet. All I knew then is, if someone didn't calm me down, or at least find some ways to distract me, I am going to run through the halls screaming the worst obscenities I can think of.
Imagine enduring a day like this. You bombed your math test in spite of hours of studying. Then on the one time that you cut Literature, your professor has to find you afterward, eating ice cream. THen after said professor leaves you his message, your ice cream ball leaps out of your cone. You manage to catch it with your cone but then, you discover that it left an ugly brown stain on one of your favorite blouses. Then after momentary relief that you have a spare shirt to fix the mishap, you discover that said shirt has a HUGE hole on one of the sleeves. Then when you finally patched it up with a safety pin and run to the caf to retrieve your ice cream, you discover your poor blockmate holding a sorry-looking lump of melting chocolate. You remove all dignity and slurp up the whole mess (the ice cream didn't cost pennies, you know) and just as things couldn't seem worse, some considerate soul caught you in camera. URRGHHHHH!!! FUUUUUCCCCKKKK!!! SOMEONE SHOOOOT MEEEE!!!
*coughs* Ehem... heehee, now that I've let that out, I'll return to my regular program.^^
Anyway, on other news, the Honor Guards now have their own bench -- the one in the middle of the CTC walkway and SEC C foyer. We're half-considering printing out a sticker saying "MERCURY" (symbol of MErcury is Hg) and sticking it under the bench. Heehee, well, like I said, that's just a thought we're entertaining for the moment. At any rate, we probably won't be pushing through with it, lest we get sued for vandalism.
Hmm... now that I'm on the vein of Honor Guards again, I noticed that I never seem to run out of HG stuff to blog about. I'm not a die-hard ROTC freak or anything but I love my flight. I'm even closer to my comerades than to my blockmates. And even though it sounds surprising at first, there's actually some logic behind it. For one thing, my blockmates have fun when they're doing something fun. Honor Guards have fun by facing unfunny challenges. In the end, as I've discovered, it is not the activity itself that is fun, but the experience of enduring it together. (Gosh I'm sounding like a sap again-- must be all those messages in the HG ml...) There are many things that people do together that would sooner or later develop friendships in the end and HG training is one of them.
Ahh... my stress is slowly ebbing out... I should resort to HG mode more often.^^ MAybe I should change the title...
2003-09-22 5:13 p.m.
I AM NOW OFFICIALLY AN HONOR GUARD!!!
Regular cadets, salute me! I am now an officer! Woohoo!!! *dances like a maniac, waving cross-rifle pin around* I am so happpehhhh!!! I know what i've passed is the "easy" part (yes, in ROTC, hell night is just the beginning and is bound to proceed to deeper more infernal regions as time progresses but hey, I'm having fun) but that doesn't stop me from feeling a sense of accomplishment. If you haven't noticed, I've talked a lot about ROTC in my scarcely distributed entries as of recent.^^
My mom's always berating me that I spend too much time on ROTC, and blames my abysmal Filipino grade for its influence. Well, there is an element of truth in her accusations, that much i have to admit, but it's really not my fault I'm misguided in my passions. Seriously. Special flight camaraderie is something that just sticks to you like bees to honey. Ask my comrades and you'll see what I mean.
Besides, it's a choice between rotting away, memorizing subterranean-deep Filipino vocab and hacking around with friends and doing RO stuff. Irresponsible yes, but like I said, I can't help it. I try but there's just this compelling force that lures me away from working on my weakest subject and adhering to the demands of ROTC. And well, so sue me, but i'm actually more intimidated by some officers than my professors. They're that good. OR my profs are just pathetic. Either way, I'm steered by the greater force. (wow, is this an application of psychology meets physics or what?^^)
Heehee, well, our recognition night is over and I did not quit. My officers had a bad case of menopausal behavior (which was obviously scripted) but I. DID. NOT. QUIT. And now, I'm savoring the feeling . Ahhh...
Would elaborate on the "gruesome" ordeal of hell night but alas, we have been sworn to secrecy. But something happened.^^ Goodbye to my "aspirant" days! I'm the real thing now!
2003-09-14 11:45 a.m.
Out of Commission... Again...
Will be back when I'm no longer chasing time with a lasso.
~Cymone, the creature that time molested.
2003-09-01 6:30
ROTC is a good thing... I think...
When I first enrolled myself in ROTC, in fulfillment of the National Service Training Program Act , I was fully aware of the negative bias projected by countless sources towards this choice, with almost ninety-six percent of the freshman populace rushing to snag a slot in the “comparatively” easier alternative of serving dear ol’ Pinas. (read: NSTP 2) However, having a taste of what military training is like (see my blog entry entitled: Youth Camp more of Boot than Youth), I squared my shoulders, and told the regcom student to place me under NSTP 1, the military component originally intended for males, but was fortunately open to females due to its becoming voluntary. The regcom student looked at me in awe, saying, “You’re the first female I’ve assisted to choose that,” as he carefully clicked on the NSTP1 link as if relishing the rare opportunity to offer it to a willing student, a female no less. I just nodded, and said I prefer running laps to sweeping some flea-infested strip of asphalt. Though I did not have full knowledge on the ROTC operations here in Ateneo (there’s no real way I can have full knowledge anyway—I recently that there will always be dark, heavily guarded enigmas, whenever the military is concerned), I had the gist of it, and I daresay, I find it a far more worthwhile investment of my time. In comparison to the Civil Welfare and Literacy Training program, I saw military training as a more sensible activity, seeing as I’ve spent four years in STC doing everything that NSTP2 demanded. Which was better assuming metro-aide duties and forcing yourself to act all happy around kids and old ladies or enrolling in a one-day a week boot camp and getting tough and buff while you’re at it? For the unconventional, thrill-seeking lady that is I, the choice was obvious.
And I’ve never regretted my choice, not even once. Though training is hard, it’s fun. There’s a distinguishable air of camaraderie, between comrades and officers, that alleviates our weekly fatigue. My special flight in particular, the Honor Guards, is quite a crazy but very agreeable bunch. After four meetings, we have already began to feel at home with each other, like another barkada. There is one aspect though, I’m embarrassed to admit, that I had misconceived: my assumption that ROTC meant merely subjecting myself to two semesters worth of running, climbing ropes, learning how to handle guns, getting barked at by higher-ranking officers and knowing when and how to kick someone’s ass in self-defense. Very wrong.
I had no idea how the morals imbued in us, alongside the physical training, could so deeply affect us in the many ordeals that being an Honor Guard is all about. Of course, I’m talking about UNITY.
Signature week for the COCCs and NCOCCs (commissioned officers and non-commissioned officers- the big fishes) ended last Friday, and I only have one signature missing—that of the elusive Ma’m Uy. It’s not an easy task, chasing after officers, converging with fellow honor guards, moving in troops and practicing the art of stalking but it was fun, nevertheless. I never realized how moving together could be both immensely productive and enjoyable at the same time. All for ROTC’s sake.
However, I’m not proud to say that I cut a class in Zoology, English and Filipino, and two in Math in order to achieve that. Well, actually, the Zoology and one Math class was due to my extreme lateness, but the rest are sacrifices on my part. So far, the only class that I haven’t cut, not even once, is Literature. Sir Labella’s simply the best.
It’s too early to celebrate though. We still have another, much more difficult sig week ahead of us. This time, we will be chasing roughly 75 former Honor Guards—most of them unknown to us. If I had trouble finding twenty-four known officers, what more for 75 unknowns? And from what I heard, Honor Guard sig week isn’t as complacent as that of the COCC and NCOCC officers. They’re going to have fun with us, I dread, and ask for favors before signing our sheets. I’ve heard accounts of officers asking cadets to worship a tree or run through the SEC walk doing the Masked Rider dance. * shudders * Better get my outfits planned—I have to appeal to their sympathy by wearing clothes that wouldn’t permit me to do anything strenuous. “Argumentum Ad Misericordiam” to be precise. Add my oh-so-agonizing knee injury, and well, there’s pretty much nothing that officer can do eh? I can’t do push-ups with one bad knee. Ah, a cadette’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. Exhaust all resources to make Sig Week more convenient. Hopefully, chivalry would still remain.
Oh dear, that doesn’t sound so cooperative now, does it? What happened to the unbreakable bond of UNITY? There’s no way guys can appeal to other guys’ sympathy—unless that officer’s gay or something. Wait—that will be even worse. Woe to my comrades who might suffer the sadism of gay Honor Guards (if there are any) But ah well, I’ve put too much work in this already. It’s not a selfish deed to make use of my femininity is it? There are limits to everything, even morals.
But still, despite how fun our RO activities are, it’s wrong to put so much priority on it. The old adage is true then. We can have too much of a good thing. And so in writing, I will never cut class for ROTC again.
PS: This is supposed to be my entry yesterday but my PC screwed up again. I really need to get a new computer...
PPS: The second sig week is hell. THere are roughly 75 signatures per day that we need to get and I only got 25 for this day. * sighs * ROTC is still a good thing... I think... (now where have I heard that before...)
2003-08-13 9:17 p.m.
Everyone's talking about Math...
*gasp* I can't believe I'm blogging about math. Obviously, there's nothing better to blog about in my agenda today as I'm already resorting to subjects which I wouldn't normally consider in a conversation. As far as I'm concerned, unlikeable things have a tendency to seem worse when discussed. Like the math long test which every Math 11 student is bitching about. So don't won't be surprised if by the end of this rant, I'm not acknowledging MAth anymore.
But for the meantime, now that I'm currently focused on it, I might as well try. The Math 11 midterms will take place tomorrow and chances are, I'm going to blow it again, no matter how much I study. My mind has an instinct to shrivel and go MAth-dead when faced with the terrifying face of circles, tangent lines, and parabolas and generally all topics related to numbers and linear stuff. Such were the topics for my Math long test yesterday. I spent all afternoon studying and when i got my papers, my mind drew a giant blank. Bad, bad, bad situation. I just came from my INTAC class in BELLARMINE and had to sprint to SEC A to take the test. And as the rest of ATENEAN's no, rushing from BEl to SEC on the run of an important test is no picnic. I was a few minutes late, and when I finally got out my pen, papers and calculator,I only had 40 minutes to take a 100 point exam. So naturally, math dunce that I am, I didn't finish the test, even though I finally figured out what to do with the stupid problem.
It's not fair. MWF classes only take 50 minutes each -- if you remove the ten-minute bell allowance. Some of my classmates in TTH math 11 classes have the same number of items but a longer time limit. And sometimes their items are even easier. :(
But I guess there's not much my complaining can do. What's done is done, whether it was executed justly or not. There's another, more monstrous test tomorrow and I'm gonna need all the luck and mental energy to plow through it. Midterms are from 6-8 tomorrow, and aside from the brain-squeezing ordeal, I'm going to have to deal of commuting home at 8 in the evening, in Katipunan ave, home to some of the most disgusting DOMs I know.
Ugh. I hate going home late on a Friday night-- or any night for that matter. But I put special attention to Fridays 'cause of my whole-day activity on Saturday. It usually takes me one and half hour to get home from school, granted that I don't eat dinner. THen when I get home, I usually use up 2 hours to eat dinner, prepare my stuff take a bath and do the normal before bedtime activities before finally hitting the sack. So doing the math, that leaves me... approximately four hours of sleep in preparation for 11 hours of military training. How's that for survival sleep? (MY call time is 6 am) And every one wonders why I remain slim even though I eat like I'm starving. I thought the perpetual bags under my eyes would be evidence enough but apparently, I've been thinking wrong.
ROTC training exactly 10 hours away after Math midterms. WHy do I get an inkling that I'm spiralling headfirst towards a temporary misanthrope existence? You tell me, are you likely to be sociable after your body and mind have been stripped of comfort in less than twenty four hours? No, right? *sigh* I thought so.
*reads through whole thing * Oh wow. I was right. My blog headed towards way different topics from my supposed rant. I must hate math so much I subconsciously steer my thoughts away from it at some point of my blog, even though it is my intention to focus on it. ROTC and MAth. *groans* A combination to avoid at all costs. Unfortunately for me, that sad fate is inevitable.
2003-08-11 9:01 p.m.
You're a dragon. You're smart and cunning, and
enjoy taking risks. Your need for independence
is an advantage, but sometimes it alienates you
from others. As far as *good* and *evil*,
you're pretty neutral--but you may have
something of a wicked streak.
What mythical beast are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
2003-08-08 3:52 p.m.
AAAAUUUUGGHHHH!!!!!
WHy me? Why me? Why is it that whenever something good passes my way, I do something to screw it up? First menstrual pains during my ROTC training, insomnia even after a hectic day of walking to and fro Ateneo grounds, a torrential downpour on the day my umbrella is broken, and now this>? What is wrong with me? Do I have this innate, diabolically irrevocable inclination to subconsciously shun the very things I've been so proud to be finally capable of accomplishing? Or is there some controlling force in the universe that decided to have some fun at my expense?
You know that OOTP diskette copy? Guess what? I opened it in the school computer, the same time I was writing the previous entry and it worked fine. Then when I got home to try it out, it refused to work. I swear our pc is staging a conspiracy against me. After I clicked on the file, it took an entire two minutes for the first page to show up, five minutes for page two, twenty minutes to reach page seventeen, out of what, three hundred? (It only contained the first 16 chapters) I got so impatient, I cancelled the action and started again. Guess what, this time, as if sadistically foreshadowing my despair, the friggin' drive refused to process it beyond page 5, even when I clicked on it twenty-five minutes ago. Fuck. I cancelled it again and clicked on it. THis time, it didn't even wait to load and the fuckin' computer shut up on me. Out of a fit of desperation, I ran to my uncle's house and used his computer in thin hopes of still extracting the file and transferring it to another safer disk. But to my horror, the drive said, redundant cycle detected and couldn't open the file!
And now, I'm back here in CTC 112, and the friggin' diskette wouldn't open at all! Argh! Someone shoot me now!!! Why can't the world allow me to read OOTP? Am I infringing any publication rights by not shelling out more than a week's allowance to read it? I'm just a poor student! I own nothing but a good pen and a fucked-up computer! Do I have to renounce my non-HP fan status and swear allegiance to the throngs of fans worshipping the ground JK Rowling walks on?
Life is a black pit leading to hell. I'm broke and I'm luckless. And I'm not even gambling for PEte's sake. If this is karma, then I'd better have done something really heinous, which, if I ever did, I do not remember. Because unless I uttered an absolute blasphemy against the Harry Potter fandom, which I did NOT, I don't deserve this.
Okay, so I bastardized Snape and Draco. Does that crime really merit the complete dysfunction of my technology-handling capabilities? IS that even a crime? That is my right as a human being! I'm being toyed with because I divulged my unabashed opinions?
* sobs * Okay. I'll just borrow a copy from someone who's kind enough to entrust book 5 to me. And until that happens, I won't bitch about Snape anymore. Just please, let whoever is toying with my fate leave me alone. That's all I ask. Thank you.
PS: Am I an HP fan or not? YOu tell me, I don't have a fuckin' clue. The sheer frustration of getting a free copy of book 5 and having it snatched from my grasp is making my logic fog up. And I so hate the task of wiring it back and going on a mass speculation. Whoot.
