2003-04-21 2:38 p.m.
Out of Commission until Further Notice
As the title says, I won't be updating this online account of the humdrums of my life until my stupid ISP gets unfucked. I can't believe that i'm sitting here in an internet rental shop. I work for an internet company for Christ's sake. But since they're in the process of transferring, I have to wait here for until God-knows-when until further notices.
And the internet speed here is about as fast as a millipede stuck in glue. I can't even visit my blogmates, coz the operation times out before the friggin' page loads completely. It was all i could do not to pound the keyboard in frustration. And the left shift key is out of order too. Is nothing going my way? TT-TT
Anyway, I'll just wallow in front of my tv cursing solar sports for showing only one play-off game at a time while I'm currently isp-less. I swear my mom was ready to stuff a giant bao in my mouth as a desperate mean to cease the barrage of obscenities I've been yelling when i found out i couldn't watch the kings-jazz game.
I'll do a major blog-hopping when I get back. For the meantime... GO KINGS!!!
2003-04-13 9:32 p.m.
My writing skills are deteriorating...TT____TT
I was rummaging through my old notebooks and fillers and came across a fic I wrote in second year. I don't know what came over me but I just sat there, straining to read through the hardly readable pencil scrawls. Then I realized that I was astonished with what I've written. (Am not trying to sound conceited here but I really did felt impressed by my own work) I compared it with the stuff I've written now and was stunned to find out that it wasn't near the standards of the written-on-paper pieces. My style had been cramped ever since I used the pc and the built-in thesaurus, grew stale as O got older and lacked coherence when I ventured into yaoi.
Gawds... this is so uncool... I hate it when I'm unsatisfied by my own work. I take pride in being a writer.
*sigh* I don't know what caused such a horrific change in my writing but I hope I get over the slump soon.
ugh. Even this blog sounds incoherent. What is happening to me....???
2003-04-12 4:25 p.m.
Freezer. You feel nothing and wish to feel nothing
so you find peace in the way you think,
however, your emotions are more nuetral than
balanced. Coldness and tolerance can be the
ways of a passive heart.
How Emotional Are You?
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~~* uh.... *speechless* no way... this is for the Rukawa-Squall-Heero people right? Shyet...
2003-04-12 4:21 p.m.
Red/Green/Blue:
To you, the world is logical. Everything happens
for a reason, life is scientific. You like to
find solutions. I doubt you needed to take this
quiz in order to realize this.
What color do you see the world in?
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~~*... no comment.
2003-04-09 4:20 p.m.
A Little Late... but Here's my thoughts about the outcome of the grad awardees...
First things first. I'm not defending Wendy and Ms. Linguistics. No one has accused me of such... yet, but for the record, I garner it's best that I emphasize on that.
My reaction? I was shocked. Stunned. Flabbergasted. Astonished. Stupefied. Get the picture? I (as well as everyone else sans the self-proclaimed "cream of the crop" and what the rest of the " crop" would arguably refer to as "cream of the crap") felt as if I've been dumped with a giant bucket of brain-freeze-inducing slurpy when the vale and salu awardees were announced.
The question that should be asked is: What are the qualities that would deem a student worthy of first and second honors? Of course, as I’ve been fortunate enough not to be in section four, I admit, that I may be subjective when assessing the qualifications of the persons in question. Nor will I claim credible judgment in recognizing and gauging the potential of other possible candidates, seeing as I know less than half of the senior population of STC, being a new (and an introverted) student in freshman year. Nor will I assume that anyone out there cares for what I think; to each our own, we all have our differences.
But here’s what I believe is relevant in the deliberation of awardees anyway:
I do NOT consider the duration of stay in STC (or what I’ll refer to as simple school loyalty). As I pointed out in Rayne’s tagboard, what’s the point of allowing new students to enroll if the school reserves bias on older students for reasons of loyalty? Okay, so here comes new student A, she’s a genius with no grades lower than ninety, a good leader, an athlete, involved in many activities, a child prodigy of sorts. She maintains this performance all throughout high school, and continually improves her performance. Come deliberation, there is virtually no reason not to grant her first or second honors. But because she didn’t study in STC since the prep, she’s automatically chucked out of the selection. Unfair right?
And considering STC’s apparent insistence to uphold their noble values of simplicity, equality, justice, etc, it just won’t do to have their precious code of ethics violated by implementing such a rule, although personally, they seem to have no problem teaching injustice first hand on certain occasions.
Moral Character has always been one of the basics factors. But it still bothers me to no end that this factor is judged not by students, but by teachers. If ever the student’s perspective is taken, it receives minimal priority.
Ideally, the students use their talents for other students. So isn’t it fair that students themselves be the judges of moral character? Or at least, have half a say? Sure, the teachers are the authority, the secretaries who record everything THEY see. But as the old adage goes, looks can be deceiving. I don’t know which is more pathetic: a) a student suckering up to a teacher in an attempt to look like a better shot and succeeding (granted of course, that the student is insincere in her intentions; if otherwise GO YOU)
OR
b) the poor teacher who immediately dons the rose-colored glasses after a few, strategically placed flatteries.
And given that, what hope do other students (who unfortunately, possess no such gift of gab or if they do, choose NOT to use it) have against such dubious bonding?
………………………………
The school’s moral principles have always been overrated. Just because of one measly behavioral, a great honor is denied of you. It’s true then. Bullshit does get you over the top.
Well, going back to Wendy and J&J, (which is the real core of the discussion) here’s what I know.
Both were new students in freshman year. Both came from section 4. Both are very competent, academically speaking. Both (correct me if I’m wrong; it’s not my style to keep tabs on someone that I really don’t associate with) aren’t very much into extracurricular activities, or if they are, aren’t very known for it, sans Wendy’s frequent voluntary ppt presentations for our monthly masses and Ms. Linguistics’ membership as one of STC’s representatives in the J & J choir competition. And finally, both seemed to have mastered the art of (as vehemently emphasized by quite a number of my peers) kissing-butt especially figures of authority are concerned.
As one of their former classmates and fellow freshman newbie, I really can’t say I have as much dislike towards the two as my other fellow bloggers. They (Wendy and J&J) seemed pretty decent… then. I don’t know what happened to them in section 4 to incur such negative impressions. Actually, I really don’t care about them. I don’t care what they do, I don’t care what they achieved. I don’t like them, I don’t hate them. Who am I to judge when I really don’t have any interaction with them, except for the fact that they were my classmates in first year and even then, I don’t have any particular experiences that could possible alter my opinion on them? Although I daresay if I were to like one of them, I’d choose J&J. Nothing personal. Just that she seems nicer compared to Wendy (for me that is) although I know SOME people who would strongly disagree with me.
However, even with my indifference toward them and even with my unimpressive knowledge on the other candidates, I do believe that there are several students who deserve those honors more than they do. Because unlike J&J and Wendy, most students actually respect them. And personally, that should count more than anything.
And as for rewards apart from vale and salu, Yot, I still believe you should have been up there. Barbie too. Loyalty shouldn’t be stressed so much. If you stayed half as long but did twice as much, you deserve to be credited for it. It just sucks that the ones who made the award seem to get the notion that duration of stay is always directly proportional to actual contribution.
To Rayne, Twinkol and Riezl, congrats! I’ll take comfort in knowing that some people actually got what they deserved.
2003-04-06 3:03 p.m.
Back to my NBA Freakazoid Status...
THE KINGS WON! OVER THE CELTICS! BY ONE POINT! WAHOO! GO WEBBER! GO BIBBY! GO (ahahay!) STOJAKOVIC! *waves "KINGS RULE" banner* Cardiac finish! Alright WEBBER!!!
2003-04-03 8:26 p.m.
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse
which happy bunny are you?
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~~~* Took it from Sir Faust's blog... Think I like his result better.:)
Oh well. At least I'm cute.^^
2003-04-03 8:07 pm.
Lestat - Gentleman death are you. You are so very
complex, that even those whom are close to you
don't even understand all of you. The years
have turned you into the vicious, sex god,
killer that you are today. You are truely a
vampire in every sinse of the word. Kutos!!
What Anne Rice vampire are you?
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~~** *sigh* It never changes. Hmmm... why I keep taking Vampire Personality tests when I'm not really interested in those dark gothic bloodsucking seducers? Oh yeah, to see if I get a personality match other than Sir Lestat. Hn. This must be the fourth test I took and still no change. ¬____¬
*snickers* How about that Faust? I got one of your seducers...
Anyone know a cure for insomnia? TT______TT
I'm serious. I need to find one fast lest I get an outrageous outbreak of icky acne and gothic eyebags on my already asmathic skin. For the past week, my sleeping hours comprised of two hours of shut-eye and six hours of staring (and envying) the cat sleeping outside my window. Granted that I do sleep, which is about as non-existent as my ability to resist coffee.
Because of this, I probably look like an overdosed druglord in my Ateneo school pic. Because of this, I'm losing more weight, when my doctor strictly ordered me to gain some. Because of this, my mom is keeping all the coffee AWAY from my reach. Dammit. The first two I can accept but to deprive me of the drink I consider to be roughly equivalent as my lifeblood? Unspeakable. Unthinkable. Capital punishment.
And the ironic thing is, this all started when I reread my Sandman: The Dream Hunters (a novel written by Neil Gaiman and illustrated by the great Yoshitaka Amano, a novel I sacrificed eating just to buy) Sandman, the guy who's supposed to sprinkle those little grains to whisk you off to lala land. He's deserting me too.TT___TT
*sigh* At least I managed to down my Starbucks usual. Venti Espresso frap, double power, hazelnut syrup. Though I knew fully well that it will further aggravate my already sleepless existence. Resistance is simply futile. But then again, why fight a good thing? ^^
But I'm still searching for a solution. Coffee-prevention strictly exempted. Anyone please? Help? *pleading eyes*
2003-04-02 10:24 a.m.
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
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~~*smirks*
2003-04-02 10:14 a.m.
You are a freeform writer. Individualistic with a
sense for the different and challenging, Walt
Whitman and his poetry lacking meter and rhyme
is just what the doctor ordered. You're quick
to write something that the rest of the world
doesn't accept as poetry, quick to separate
yourself from the average joe. An author with a
true sense of self, you have confidence in your
abilities and aren't afraid to show it. :) GO
YOU!
What's YOUR Writing Style?
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~* *shrugz* Hits the mark I guess.
2003-04-02 10:07 a.m.
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Moderate |
| Schizoid: | High |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate |
| Antisocial: | High |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | Low |
| Dependent: | Low |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Low |
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
~~* Hrn... no comment.
2003-04-01 11:45 a.m.
I am so Happeh!!!
Wheee~~~ Sometimes my own bluntness amazes me. *points down at the courtship ranting entry* I couldn't stand the front anymore and told the guy to just forget it and quit on me. After his 6th SMS msg, which I didn't return until eight o'clock in the evening, I told him to stop as early as now. My exact words: This will not work. Stop it and just quit on me. Trust me, you won't regret it. Of course, since i really like him as a FRIEND, I had to make the consoling message a little more... artistic. So... I came up with one of those little quotes, complete with the fancy letters and stuff. Here it is:
They say that love is a game where in you let yourself fall and let someone catch you.But sometimes, people are not just meant to play catcher.
Because sometimes, those who fall deserve better hands.
Pshaw. Talk about corn. *rolls eyes* I hope that will be the last time I ever compose something as maudlin as that.
Well at least he did give up. And we're still friends. And I'm glad this whole mess is over and done with. And he's still gonna give me chocolates!!! Whee~~~ And it's Hana-kun's birthday too! Yeah... Happy's the word alright!^^
2003-03-31 5:50 p.m.
your asshole.
What swear word are you?
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~~* Hn. How true. I sure will be practicing it a lot to drive away guys who keep adding to my monthly cel bill. ¬______¬
2003-03-31 5:00
Graduation Aftermath and my Semi-charmed Life
Hn. I know I should've posted something way earlier but alas, even with all the school shit gone, time remains a precious commodity with the influx of activities in my now "free" life. Free. Ha. As if. As long as my demon of a toddler brother exists I remain unfree.
Recently, I discovered the perks of just cooping oneself in one's house, away from human contact apart from family. You can sleep more, surf more, be more creative and have the pleasure of NOT encountering certain friends who put more flying fucks in your already fucked-up life with the guise of what layman's terms would call courtship. Blech. Not that I'm a manhater or anything but... well, I prefer independence. At least while I'm young and single.
Okay, so what happened? Well, taking out the gory details, let's just say a guy friend of mine since sophomore year told me he had been crushing on me ever since and asked if he could court me. And at that time, my best friend had already told him the she had feelings for him.(HEar that? That's turned-off visitors clicking back because of the shameless, oh-so-typical cheese I just divulged.)
So what I did was, I gave him the freedom to do so, but not without laying the consequences before him. I told him, point blank not to get his hopes up. I told him that I'm much closer to guys if they remain in the platonic level of friendship because there's less to be ruined that way. I told him that commitment for me is a BAD scene. And well... I really don't know the first thing about the relationship biz. And I made him choose between a close platonic or a secretive non-platonic relationship. I told him to think of himself first because although I am a what-you-see-is-what-you-get person, I do have my secrets. And lastly, I told him that I'm not gonna risk ruining my relationship with my best friend and I will turn to decisions that will be best for all three of us.(Oh how noble of me. But seriously, I'm a friends before lovers person. So sue me.)
And even after I said all that, he still wants to go for it. Dammit. It would be so much easier if he just gets the notion that I'm a lost cause. I would've told him "no" right off, to save both of us the trouble, but the guy recently attempted to commit suicide (why he tried to do that, I will not tell, even though I know they don't know about my blog) and would've succeeded had not a certain friend of mine knocked him to sanity. And well, my other best friend, Belle, specifically told me to give him the chance to at least court me. Give him the satisfaction of trying. As a firm believer in the saying "Experience is the best teacher" I couldn't say no. He'll learn sooner or later. I wish I would too.
*sighs* It's strange that I've never fallen for a guy. At least not seriously. I remember that there were times that I just say I like this guy just for the sake of letting people know that I have hormones. I can admire guys for their skills and looks, but that's it. No attraction whatsoever. My friends told me I'm manhid or cool with the opposite sex. I used to think that hey, that's great, I won't be sucked into those maudlin commitments and stuff. But now... well... I'm beginning to hate it. For once, I regret possessing a hormonially (<- No such word^^) unconventional mind.
Kim is going to kill me. I swear. She likes the guy who wants to court me and Kim's my best friend. Talk about cliche And here I am, still thinking that love triangles only appear in those pocketbook versions of romance. -______-;; Oh yeah, ignorance is bliss alright *sarcastic smirk*. Dammit. Why can't I be totally happy? Now you know why my theme song is Semi Charmed Life of 3EB.
I want something elseTo get me through this
Semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say goodbye
..... Yeah. I want something else. A Smith and Wesson gun like Sanzo's (just the right size to blow a hole in my head should the occasion arise). Or some drinkable mercury. Or a one-way trip to Mars.
... Nah. Too suicidal. Besides, suicide is sheer idiocy. Okay then...
... A tour of Africa. Yeah! That's it. Hiking through the wilderness, visiting ancient pyramids and tombs, elephant rides, and working off my stupid asthma. And best of all, out of courting range.^^
Ah... life. Ah well, even though mine is often frustrating, at least it's never boring.^^
